The Ledger

By Tanya Bass

For as long as I can remember, I played with my friends at whatever level they were comfortable. I didn’t know words like disabled, autistic, or the more recently used neurodivergent.

Those labels weren’t part of my world. I simply knew that some kids seemed as lonely as I often felt, and that made us fast friends. 

Fast forward forty years. 
My closest friend became a teacher in a self-contained special education classroom, and I often substituted in her class.

Imagine that—I got paid to spend my days hanging out with my best friend and playing with the very kind of kids I had always been drawn to. It never felt like work. 

Then life brought things even closer to home. Several of my grandchildren were later diagnosed with autism. 

Suddenly, everything I thought I knew about parenting, teaching, communication, expectations, rewards, consequences, and cause and effect had to be reevaluated.

The rules I had always depended on didn’talways apply. What worked for one child didn’t work for another. Progress looked different. Success looked different. 

These children didn’t just teach me about autism—they taught me about people. 
They taught me patience when I wanted quick results. They taught me flexibility when my plans fell apart.

They taught me that connection matters more than compliance, and understanding matters more than being right. 

Most of all, they taught me that every person deserves to be valued for who they are, not for how closely they fit someone else’s expectations. 

Looking back, I realize those childhood friendships were preparing me all along.

The lonely little girl who gravitated toward the kids who didn’t quite fit in had no idea that one day those same kinds of children would become some of the most important people in her life. 

And because of them, I learned how to live differently, love deeper, and see the world through a much kinder lens. 

For the next several weeks we will explore with parents, teachers, and friends what it looks like to live in the worlds of these “different ability” people. The uncomparable love that is shared and the partnership you feel when you are so deeply loved.